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Your independence should be your utmost priority. You should never settle for anything less than your own privacy and your own autonomy. You should never be beholden to anyone. Not your mother, not your sibling and not your friends. You need to be independent. Now I know many of you will say that independence requires you to be self-sufficient but try not to define it only in financial terms, although it is true that money often equates to self-sufficiency. Generally speaking, having enough money does mean you can do what you want, when you want and wherever you want or, if you wish, do nothing at all.
But sometimes you don’t have enough money but still desperately need your autonomy and peace of mind. What do you do then? Most people reading this are likely to have a job and their own accommodation. But there will also be many individuals who, despite having a steady income, will be living in what can only be described as in cramped conditions with extended families.
Now I’m not saying that extended families are a bad thing but I can also say that many a times they’re not a good thing either, especially if you don’t have adequate space to house everyone comfortably. I will also go so far as to say that living in such conditions is not only uncomfortable but also a form of abuse. It’s abuse to yourself and abuse to those around you. Imagine not having the kind of privacy you need to change your clothes or even to lie down in a darkened room when you need to because doing so would obviously inconvenience your flatmates which is often what they are, even if they’re your family.
Imagine living in such conditions when you don’t get on with everyone in your unit. Imagine having to share a room with those with whom you have differences of opinion. Imagine if some of the people with whom you share a room have different sleeping habits. When you get up they are asleep and when you need to sleep they’re up and about doing their thing. If you’re responsible for this insane setup for your family then I’m sorry to have to tell you this but you are the most inconsiderate person on the planet. Everyone deserves to live in comfort and if you’re doing it to save a penny here and there, that penny is not well spent. Nothing is more important than someone’s personal space.
Personal space gives you peace of mind and, don’t forget that, often those growing up in such a cramped environment, have no say in the matter because the choice wasn’t theirs. It might be the wife’s, the husband’s or an overbearing sibling’s, or all three.
My advice to anyone living in cramped conditions where their creativity is being stifled or their ability to study is being hampered due to lack of space, if you are able to, move into university accommodation where you will have your own room or the very least continual access to a quiet library with a desk. If your creativity is being stifled, pluck up the courage to rent your own space even if it’s just a small space and means spending a little bit of money. I guarantee, having that space will clear your mind of the clutter you most likely see on a daily basis living in the current conditions in which you live.
If there are 10 people living in a tiny 2 bedroom, and I am using this example from reality of people I know, then I guarantee you have no space for your clothes, nowhere to change and sleeping is only possible when everyone sleeps at the same time. Otherwise you will most likely be kept up by lights going on or the incessant movement during the night by the person or persons who have different sleep schedules.
Someone one commented on social media that animals are so much smarter than human beings when it comes to choosing who’s in charge. Animals would never let someone with little or no sense lead their pack. Unfortunately, in humans, this is all too often the case.
